..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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