Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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