Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
