): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
