Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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