Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
