I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize