yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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