you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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