I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize