Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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