I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize