I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do vagina's smell?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
