I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
