So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
