just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
