We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
