I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
