Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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