they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
