I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
