i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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