The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
