Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
