Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
