You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
