And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
