I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
