I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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