I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
