he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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