New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize