You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
