me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
