I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize