I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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