If that was your dad, he is hot
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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