And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
