So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
