Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
