Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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