well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize