you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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