I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Barsexuality is the new black.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
