we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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