So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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