I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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