What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I bet he comes in French.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I didn't notice because vodka
Randomize
