Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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