I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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