So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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