I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
