i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
