My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
please come you make the beer taste better
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
