the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
