Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
