You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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