ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
