I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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