my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
