Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize