I must be too annoying 4 u.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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